just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i will never coherently bang her
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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