we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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