totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
