Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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