How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
