But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
