We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
