Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
