he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
