It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
