Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
