Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
