The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
