final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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