You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
