yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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