Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
