Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
