Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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