I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
