think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
NoShamevember. You game?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
