Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
