Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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