If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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