This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
