And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize