I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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