What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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