Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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