Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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