Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
