I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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