Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
