i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize