just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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