Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
