Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
