I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
