Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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