One girl and one boy is just not enough.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
