DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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