you mean i was at the winter classic?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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