I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
