Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
