Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
