Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
