Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
