What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
