I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
