i jhust puked up my retainher.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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