living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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