marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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