I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
