I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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