The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
