we're blogging at a bar
look no pants
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
