did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Randomize
