I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
