i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
