he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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