i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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