im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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