My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
