I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And then he peed in my hair
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