Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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