She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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